If you haven't guessed already, after the last post, my Mum likes to cut costs when it comes to hair maintenance. So, as a grower of hair herself, she has become dependent on none other than yours truly to keep her own locks in presentable condition.
Now, I am no hairdresser by ANY stretch of the imagination but I have cut hair. I don't do a perfect cut but I understand the principles of the lines and sections and fudge my way through to something that's often better than some of the hair cuts I've witnessed from so called 'professionals'. I occasionally cut my boys' hair when getting to a hairdresser is inconvenient and I have even cut Peyton's hair when it needs a trim. Brad needs the clippers every so often and I also add the occasional colour to my own hair. When it comes to Mother's hair, she would rather hand the scissors over to an amateur such as myself rather than part with a small fortune to a professional hair stylist.
And so today was the day! Today I planned to exact my revenge on my Mother for my past hair disasters. For putting me through the excruciation of ugly hair days and the humiliation of a life time of bad school photos. After all, I told her, she owed me that at least! And like the good sport she is, she let me take her photo knowing full well that it would appear on THE WORLD WIDE WEB!!!!! gotta LOVE her!
Yes... today was 'highlights' day. Mother had to put on her luuuuffffly condom hat whilst I merrily hooked her follicles through the holes! Ahhh.... the schweeeet taste of revenge...
I must tell you a story about Zane, the eldest of my 4 children. When he was about 12 years old and naturally becoming aware of his image, he insisted that I cut his hair with the clippers. You know that hair style where the back and sides were short and the front was long and slightly bleached? Well, that was the style we were aiming for.
So, with mirror, clippers and combs we assumed the position. Buzzzz buzzzzz I started with a #7 comb and did the back and sides. Zane thought that the #7 was a bit too long so we decided that the #4 would be a better length. Sweet. I decided to trim the back of the neck and sides first so I removed the #7 comb and tidied up the hair line. The phone rings, I have a quick chat, hang up and get back to what I was doing... oh yeah... thats right, we are going over the #7 again with the shorter #4 comb... buzzz buzzzz I decided to start from the centre of the back of the head ....buzzzzzz buzzzzz... SHOCK!!!! HORROR!!!!! GASP!!!!!!
My hand flew up to my mouth to stifle the gasp of realisation! Before me stood a 12 year old boy with his back to me, blissfully unaware that his mother had neglected to attach the #4 comb before she hooked into phase 2 of 'trendy' hair cut! The poor child had a GT stripe RIGHT UP THE CENTRE OF THE BACK OF HIS HEAD!
ummm... ooooops! ...sorry...
I think it took a looooong time for him to let me cut his hair again. He still loves me...
Santa (aka Rural Fire Brigade) came to Chambers Flat today to hand out lollies to the kids... How cool is that?
Well folks, if I am AWOL over the next week or so, its because it is that time of the year when social event after social event, finishing touches to Christmas and concert rehearsals and stuff take over my life and sadly, my blogging friends, you will have to take second priority. =(
If I may leave you to ponder, chew your cud, mull over this...
Consider please for a brief moment the predicament I find myself in... I, the person who recently had the surgical procedure of 'bilateral scarfs' performed on my feet, the wearer of ONLY rubber thongs (flip flops or jandals) since this procedure, unable to don any other type of footwear, trying to dress up for function after Christmas function without looking completely ridiculous. Dressed from the ankles up and hobbling around in old shoes or rubber thongs...
Do you hear my plight? Are you in complete sympathy with me?
I'M DEAD SEXY!!!!!
Haaaaaa!!! Your mom has Barbie Doll Hair gone horribly wrong! Do we get to see the "After"?
Sorry about your shoe issues. I'm glad to read you use the word thongs instead of flip flops though. That's what I am used to calling them, but these days, in the US anyway, you can't say thongs anymore because that means butt floss panties. I'm showing my age.
Posted by: donnapiranha | 02 December 2007 at 04:47 AM
Hee-hee . . . this was a good one. When I first saw the top of the photo I thought she had received a really bad hair transplant. I was relieved to see it was only a condom on her head . . . I have never seen one that big.
LOL at Zane . . . I used to cut Matt's hair but once I was finished using the trimmer I would try to cut the top with scissors and I had no clue what I was doing. It would take at least an hour for me to finished . . . he decided it was easier to have someone else do it.
Good blog entry!
We are having freezing rain here today!!!
Posted by: Kristi | 02 December 2007 at 05:04 AM
Oh your poor Mum. I'm wondering where the after photo is? HMMMMMMMMMM! =D
Poor Zane did he ever let you near his head again? I guess you leanred that from your Mum.
Have a wonderful week full of festive fun. Hope you come back with lots of photos.
Good luck finding shoes... maybe you need to sport bare feet or fuzzy slippers! =D
You will be missed. Hugsssssssssssss!
Posted by: Janette | 02 December 2007 at 07:27 AM
Haaaa- Donna said but floss panties..huh huh. I am glad to see that the beautician gene runs in the family. Your entry was funny today. Have a good yet busy week ahead- enjoy it!
Posted by: melinda | 02 December 2007 at 07:58 AM
Mum's 'after' look was good. Unfortunately, her hair wasn't cut by me and looked a bit 'ngeengee' (no such word but sound it out) but the highlights were good. She'd put a colour in her hair that morning and then wanted me to strip it back in spots.
Zane fortunately has hair that grows very fast and the GT stripe disappeared in a couple of weeks. haaaah! I remember laughing so hard that I had tears streaming down my cheeks and he was furious! I know... "mean mother"... =D
Posted by: Lynette | 02 December 2007 at 08:03 AM
Looks much like man plugs!
Have a great week! So what if your wearing thongs, your feet are sexy now, RIGHT?
Posted by: Cathy | 02 December 2007 at 11:16 PM
yes I cut the families hair too and yes i did the same thing to Evan when he was in prep lol.
He still reminds me of it .Tell your mum if she goes to the beauty school the students will cut and colour your hair for much less. :o)But I go to the shearing shed at waterford and they are great.
ohhh your always sexy just add some bling to the thongs and start your own new fashion trend lol
Posted by: tory | 03 December 2007 at 12:04 AM
Ha ha...your mom sure is a good sport!! Where is the after hair-do picture though?? LOL
smiles,
Posted by: cricket | 03 December 2007 at 07:16 AM
Yvonne looks sexy! Just flutter those gorgeous eyes, and no-ones going to look down at your feet! other than that just wrap some tinsel around your toes!
Posted by: Sherryn | 03 December 2007 at 02:14 PM