Exactly 12 years after Brad and I were married, we finally had our honeymoon. 10th July 1993 was the date of the wedding and with all the expense and stress of organising it all within six short weeks, the cost and drama of organising a honeymoon was out of the question. Besides, the prospect of taking my then 10 year old son, Zane on a week long honeymoon didn't quite have the appeal that it should have and I was happy to go back to work the following Monday with an extra ring on my finger. I wore that extra ring for 12 long years and during those years we were blessed with three more children. One boy and a set of boy/girl twins. I was so preoccupied with mothering, studying and working that the idea of having a belated honeymoon was a distant memory. That is, until I'd stopped working and the brainwave took over again...
So, after 12 years to the day of happily wedded bliss (?) we were finally on a direct flight from Brisbane to Christchurch, New Zealand. We were going to spend 10 glorious winter days and nights at a 5-star resort in Arrowtown just north of Queenstown skiing by day and dining by night then snuggling up in front of the fire! hmmmmm... No kids.... Peace and quiet...
Yay! Within about a 50km radius there were five ski fields. Just the two of us! Everything was already paid for in advance all we needed to do was pick up our ski gear and head on up to the slopes. Eeeeeeeee!!!
Imagine for a moment please, the act of fitting a scalene triangle into a rectangle... no. Think a little harder... No... Really imagine hard! At some stage, you'd want to break off at least two of those corners and hit the dang thing in with a hammer... Can you REALLY imagine? Well, that was my feet getting into ski boots. During the fitting I thought ‘aaahhh P.O.P. I can live with this. How bad could it be?’ So, with that, Brad and I left the hire shop, skis over the shoulders and boots and jackets in a bag in the other. Yay! We looked like we knew what we were doing.
At this stage, Brad had never seen snow before. I had, because I'd grown up around the volcanic mountains and plateaus in the North Island of New Zealand and had spent endless hours sliding down slopes on plastic garbage bags. So I wasn't that preoccupied with the actual composition of the chilly white stuff. Brad, on the other hand, needed to scoop it up and study it hard. Neither of us had the slightest idea what we were doing on the skis.
Have you ever seen Bridget Jones - The Age of Reason??? Well, that was me. Once I'd untangled my legs and skis from each other and lined them up, I squealed with delight when I could actually make some distance on them. How hard could this be? What started out as a "Whheeeeeeeeee!!!! quickly changed to a "Whaaaaahhhhhhhh" when I realised that the people standing at 12 o'clock, milling around chatting didn't have the slightest idea about what was about to hit them, or possess a sixth sense or eyes in the back of their heads to see me come hurtling up behind them. "Four!!! FOUR!!!! Look OUT!!!! Whaaaaaah!!!!!" POOOFFFF! I became a giggling mess of apologies. "Ah! Sorry! ...sorry... new to this stuff... oof my feet.... oof sorry...um..." And they looked at me with their straight sophisticated faces, designer ski wear and sunglasses and went about muttering about the clutz that had just interrupted their intelligent hoity toity conversation. I just HAD to get me some lessons... Brad, on the other hand, took to the chair lift and fumbled his way down the slopes numerous times within the first 3 hours. Showoff.
So here I was Bridget Jonesing it STILL on my second day on the slopes. I took lessons and became a pro getting on and off the magic carpet (impressive huh!) before I ventured onto the T bar. Wheeeeeee!!! It wasn't until THAT afternoon that I decided that NOW was the time to try the chair lift. So, here I was lining up to be scooped into the chair with a nice Asian man with a snowboard who was obviously a pro at this kind of stuff. Woo hoo! Along came the chair and whooosh! up we went. The nice Asian man started to become a bit agitated the further up we went, I thought to myself "hoh... there are NO loos up here Mr Asian Man so you'd better slide yourself down that slope to relieve yourself." The closer we got to the top the worse he got! Shuffling around in the seat and getting a bit of a swing on. Then, all of a sudden he jumped off the chair and off he went. Whoh! Ok! Time! Time! Time! I tried to wiggle my butt to the edge of that seat pronto but the chair started rising again and was getting higher and higher! OMG! What to do? I just couldn't stay up here only to return a couple of minutes later and have everyone at the bottom of the slope witness the nork who'd missed her queue. So with one almighty heave, I became airborne for a split second... and then, with a thud and a POOF, became a giggling mess of skis, snow, arms and legs. A totally pure Bridget Jones moment. And to my utter embarrassment, they had to stop the chair lift while two ski instructors picked up my apologetic, giggling mass of amateur self and move me out of the way before the pending chair could empty its cargo on top of me.
The rest is history! With the occasional Whaaah! and ooff! I became a pro by the end of our 10 days and even ventured onto the intermediate slopes only to twist my knee on a slope that was clearly out of my league.
Here are some pics...
It was blowing a gale up there and I was being hit by those yukky sharp little ice crystals. That's why I looked like Santa Claus. A nice hot cuppa was in order so I could rest my bent up bunions.
Brad looked like Pop-eye ah guh guh guh.
Here was our villa. So cosy and warm and peaceful, looking out onto the golf course. At 4 in the afternoon, the frost was still on the ground.
It might look warm, but it was probably about 3 degrees. After skiing for the day, it was nice and relaxing to drink a nice hot cup of chocolate and read under a nice thick blanket on the deck chairs and watch all the golfers stroll by...
hey look at me, i finally commented! you were in chch? so close and yet so far! i didn't know you had 4 kids either - we are a rare and crazy breed. you are indeed a brave woman trying out your 'new feet' in ski boots! happy honeymoon - it looked (and sounded) like fun - bridget!!! and btw - that would be me too. on a school trip, they had to stop the LEARNER rope because i had straddled it and couldn't get off (oh the trauma = i'm reliving it all over again)...
Posted by: sue bull | 27 September 2007 at 02:08 PM
Sue... I did this a little of 2 years ago. We spent Christmas 2004 in Himatangi with family and then I was back again in October 2005 for a funeral.
I've left a few family details on Kristi's blog too. As well as those details, I lived in Paraparaumu Beach until I was 9 years old and then moved to Tokoroa and then 5 years later moved to Palmerston North. We moved to Australia in 1984. I am a C cup, have no bunions and I ate fish last night. =D
Posted by: Lynette | 27 September 2007 at 02:29 PM
Cute story! Lucky for me, I took lessons for 12 weeks when I was in the seventh grade so I didn't have to have an embarrassing adult beginner ski story like that.
I took my first husband with me once at a little podunk ski area here in the midwest. We were waiting for the chair, it came whipping around the corner and he didn't really understand what to do. When it hit the back of his knees, he didn't SIT he went forward flat on his face. It was horrible. Inside I was dying laughing, but he was so mortified and everyone was completely silent. Awful! Man, I felt bad for him, but it was all I could do to keep from wetting my pants from the humor.
Skiing is entertaining, that's for sure. Loved your story. You'll have to try it again with your new feet!
Posted by: donnapiranha | 27 September 2007 at 02:49 PM
love the story, Lynette!! see, that's the reason I don't book skiing holidays and go for the sun instead! :) Love the photo's! Maybe I should try New Zealand some time....although it's a heck of a trip...on the other side of this planet!
Posted by: Haggith | 27 September 2007 at 05:42 PM
do you say "book a holiday" or "make reservations for a holiday"? jeez, I guess my English is getting a little rusty!
Posted by: Haggith | 27 September 2007 at 05:44 PM
Haggith, here in Brisbane we are close to the tropics and we get too much sun and heat so we opt for cooler holidays. Also, we say 'book a holiday'. Are Americans and Canadians the only ones who say 'vacation'?
Red Pen Lady?
Posted by: Lynette | 27 September 2007 at 06:03 PM
well, I grew up amongst Americans, so usually I say "vacation" (also use " instead of ') :) But I'm back in Holland where they are taught British, so I catch myself saying British versions of words sometimes!
Brisbane, cool. I was in Brisbane....ha, when i was seven! :) My sister, married to an Australian, used to live near Brisbane (near for your parts...Lismore, far according to our standards...Holland is soooo small) But she lives in Vanuatu now...bought some land there and is building a house. So I have plenty of holidays spots in the world I still want to go to.
Oops, sorry for the lengthy comment.
Posted by: Haggith | 27 September 2007 at 10:40 PM
wow, I can really ramble!!!
Posted by: Haggith | 27 September 2007 at 10:40 PM
what a cute story! Looks like it was a great time and what a pretty place to go! Roger and I did the same thing...it was 10 years after our wedding that we finally took our honeymoon!
smiles,
Posted by: cricket | 28 September 2007 at 12:21 AM
Great story Lynette.
I love a good HOT VACATION!
Posted by: Cathy L. by Chicago | 28 September 2007 at 12:55 AM
Oh Lynette you need to write books. I just love the way you tell a story. You make me giggle and snort and giggle some more. =) I've never been skiing. I don't think I ever will try. I have weak ankles and I would not want to risk breaking them again. BUT I sure would go down hills tubing. Done that many times and it's fun stuff. We did a winter vaction with our family and our friends family about 7 years ago. We enjoyed it as much as our caribbean holidays.
Thanks for the enter
Posted by: Janette | 28 September 2007 at 01:16 AM
OOps....(silly finger)
Thanks for the entertaining post. I loved it!
Posted by: Janette | 28 September 2007 at 01:17 AM
Okay, that was hillarious. :) I've never been skiing, and I'm very afraid to go...because I dont want to come home with a story like that one. Well, that, and I DONT like to be cold. Although, it did make for and entertaining blog post. LOL
I bet you could REALLY master the slopes w/ your new feet!
Posted by: candice | 28 September 2007 at 01:39 AM
I wondered what in the heck you let Janette enter! lol
For someone who doesn't like to journal Lynette, you sure can tell a story.
Love that last photo. gorgeous. I have never been skiing, don't think I am coordinated enough!
Posted by: Kristi Smith | 28 September 2007 at 01:44 AM
I want to take Kristi and Janette skiing.....but I might wet my longjohns from laughing!
Also, I don't know what Red Pen Lady has to say, but we Americans don't say "take a holiday" or "go on a holiday" or whatever the wording is. A holiday to us is a day like Halloween or Easter Sunday or Columbus Day.
We say take a vacation, book a vacation, take a trip, go on a trip. Stuff like that. But "go on holiday" sounds more romantic.
Posted by: donnapiranha | 28 September 2007 at 02:18 AM
Man Lynette you have told some pretty funny stories lately. I have only been skiing once and never wanted to go again- now I know for sure I am too clumsy to get on those skis. I would prbably break something!
Posted by: Melinda | 28 September 2007 at 02:38 AM
Skiing was great! Loved it! the falls and spills come with the territory and I'm ALWAYS laughing at myself! The worst part for me was the excrutiating pain in my feet. As soon as we were off the snow my boots would come off and my feet would pulse pure, unadulterated pain for 2-3 hours afterwards.
That, and the fact that those ski boots are moulded on an angle so you have no choice but to bend your knees when you are standing upright. Its just not natural I tell you! not natural!
Posted by: Lynette | 28 September 2007 at 08:02 AM
hey again lynette!
i was born in christchurch, moved to wellington in 1983, lived in atlanta in 1994-1995 then back to wellington. i am a B cup (i'm lying, i'm actually an A cup - still in denial), but do a very good impression of a B cup. i don't have bunions either (but my grandma had really bad ones) and i ate minestrone for dinner last night.
Posted by: sue bull | 28 September 2007 at 01:21 PM
I know my head and back still hurt from being bowled over!....I didn't know that was you?!
That wasn't ice making your nose red...you were still embarrassed!..x miss you.
Posted by: Sherryn | 28 September 2007 at 01:45 PM
Sherryn, you know as well as I that you are a Bridget Jones on the slopes too. You have a story to tell as well!
Posted by: Lynette | 28 September 2007 at 06:54 PM